Keep Pressing

Please forgive me if this post rambles too much or doesn't make sense. I've been suffering from a series of migraines lately. I had a bad one yesterday and today it seems like it's just under the surface waiting to explode again.

As I lay in bed pondering the pain, I have to ask the question, "Why?"

I first went the conventional medical route. I've worked with three different chiropractors for over a year each. I've been to three different doctors and tried many different medications. My migraines are much better than they used to be, but I still get them.

In the last few years I've gone to prayer. Very godly people have prayed over me. In fact, I've been prayed over by people who have the spiritual gift of healing. I believed I can be healed. I don't doubt. I've begged to be released - yet, I still experience pain. Again I say, "Why? Why, God?"

I've come to a peace that God has indeed heard every prayer, but for His own righteous reason, has chosen not to answer it - at least not yet. So, I'm laying in bed just pondering all the possible reasons.

Is it because I don't have enough faith? No, I truly don't think that's it. Is it because I'm being punished? I'm sure God doesn't punish His children in such a way. I'm certainly not asking for something that wouldn't be within His Will. So, what then?

I honestly have no idea.

I think of the many of the stories of the Bible which show God using suffering, pain, bitterness, and even our weaknesses and to turn them into something beautiful and powerful. I think of Joseph, Job, Ruth, Lazarus, and Paul. I think of the ones who even suffered death and were brought back to life for God's glory.

I think of the woman who spent everything she had for doctors and suffered greatly from a bleeding disorder, who still pressed through the crowds to touch the hem of Jesus' robe. God could have healed her earlier. She could have given up and just sat back as Jesus passed by. Instead, she was compelled to keep pressing forward.

Jesus suffered the most; beaten beyond recognition, lashed, rejected, humiliated, and killed. Yet, the greatest good which has ever been done was accomplished through His suffering. "By His stripes, we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

I guess I'll keep pressing forward...