Unplugging

10 years ago I was a successful business woman, quickly climbing up the corporate ladder. I was a “good” mom, daughter, and friend. My financial portfolio was strong for being a 32 year-old single parent. I attended church regularly, tithed faithfully, volunteered, prayed, and studied my Bible as any good Christian should. I’m pretty capable on my own power. I can keep a lot of things going at the same time and do it fairly well from the world’s perspective.

The funny thing is, I wasn’t fulfilled. I kept searching for MORE. I wasn’t sure what I wanted MORE of – but, I just wasn’t filled. I tried doing MORE; more Bible studies, more time with my children, more success at work, and more financial security. I even tried buying more earthly comforts. But, nothing brought the fulfillment which I knew I wanted but had never really experienced.

That was the year God started to “UNPLUG” me. He unplugged me from my corporate career. He unplugged me from financial security. He unplugged me from many of the earthly comforts I had. That was hard.

Then He started unplugging me from my independency and self-reliance. Then came the stripping down of pride and preconceived notions of being “good enough”. Then came more unplugging from my quest to be successful which entailed the ugliness of my pride, envy, and need to control. This type of unplugging has proved to be excruciating.

Don’t hear me say that I have “arrived” and no longer deal with this junk. NOPE – that is definitely not what I saying. However, I have been stripped down many layers in the last ten years. It makes it easier to deal with junk as it comes, but sometimes that makes the junk harder to see.

Deemed Prepared?
As I look back over the unplugging, I realize everything that has gone well for me has prepared me for God’s calling on my life. I also realize how much God has used the things which haven’t gone right, the discomforts, the lack of control, and a lack of success – all of it has gone to strip me of what wasn’t necessary for the journey ahead.

Ten years later, I stand a few months shy of 42 years old and by the world’s standards I’m about as unsuccessful as you can be in America. I’m at the very beginning of the ministry God has called me to do when I am at the weakest by the world’s standards.

It makes no sense, but this is the point when God deems me prepared. Maybe in order to be prepared, you come to the end of what you can do on your own power? Maybe God needs to get us to the point when we have no choice but to let Him take over?

“How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies.” 1 Corinthians 15:36