3am Cry for Hope

“I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.” Psalm 119:147 NIV

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with your chest tight with worry? You might have even set your worry aside in prayer before you went to bed, only to wake up in the dead of night with the fear-o-meter needle going haywire. Despite your best efforts to calm yourself back to sleep you toss and turn, flip the pillow, and practice deep breathing exercises there is still no sleepy, sleepy only wakey, wakey.

Has this ever happened to you? I get the wakey, wakeys when something is gnawing at me or some big event is looming in the near future. It happened to me just this morning at 3am. I have a few too many loose ends on my plate right now and I don’t cope very well with getting all the little details tied up! I woke up fretting that I might miss something important.

In the past, I’ve tried all the practical methods of dealing with the panic or anger which usually keeps me awake. I tried praying, praying out loud, singing, reading, breathing, and journaling. I’ve even tried sleep aids. (Just a side note, but a sleep aid taken at 3am doesn’t seem to take affect until about 20 minutes before your alarm goes off which makes for a very long next day.) Sometimes these things work and sometimes they don’t.

However, I’ve now found the silver bullet which works EVERY time: reading God’s word. It’s the only surefire method I’ve found to deal with the sense of hopelessness 3am attacks often bring. Somehow, someway, God’s designed the LIVING WORD to give you just what you need, just when you need it.

Now when I feel that desperation start to creep over me which tells me my worries have become too heavy, I get up, and open the Bible. I pray and ask God to lead me to the still waters of His love. Then I just start reading.

If the fire in my soul isn’t quenched within ten minutes, I go to www.biblegateway.com and type in what I’m feeling into the search like, “fear”, or “despair”, or “anger”, and then start reading the verses which pop up. In inevitably, just like this morning, the Word come which fill my heart to overflowing and I begin singing praise tunes in my head.

I’m finding sometimes it’s hard to go back to sleep just because I’m so filled with love for my Lord that I just want to stay and hang out with Him longer. I know, I know. It sounds crazy – but, it’s true. God’s Word never fails.

Try it the next time you find yourself crying out at 3am. You just might find you are crying with HOPE.

Joy Completed

This is a continuation from the post, "What Makes Him Him".

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11

I’m still wondering what joy means to me personally. For some reason, I just don’t get JOY. It’s not the same as happiness because joy does not depend on “happenings”. I understand this at an intellectual level. I’ve even experienced joy at the emotional level, usually coming from watching something my kids have done.

But, I’ve been seeking what it means to experience joy at a SPIRITUAL level. I want the joy which comes from the Lord to well up inside me all the time. I don’t think that’s asking too much! Joy from the Lord doesn’t depend on anything but His goodness, and we know that He is always good. Logically this means because I have access to God through the Holy Spirit, I can always experience spiritual joy.

The verses which really cling to me about joy are in John 15 – the “ABIDE” chapter in the King James Version. Jesus is talking with His disciples just before the end. I can see Him almost pleading with them to get the concept of abiding (remaining) IN Christ.

Jesus is describing to them an almost mystical union between God, Jesus, and each of them personally. He says to “remain in me”. I’ve spent years trying to get this analytical brain around this concept. What does remaining IN Jesus look like, feel like, taste like, and how do you do it???

I’ve come to the conclusion, it doesn’t look very different than you would think; pray, read God’s Word, study, learn, serve, give, meditate. The outwardly actions aren’t much different than what most of us know is right. However, what IS different is the heart behind the actions. What motivates the action?

When you aren’t abiding, you see those things as a checklist of what a “good Christian” does. When you are abiding, you understand there are no “good Christians”, only a good God.

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone.” Mark 10:18

When you aren’t abiding, you do these things out of habit, duty, the need to feel better about yourself, or the need to look better to others. When you are abiding, you do these things because you can’t face this world without their healing balm and comforting strength.

When you aren’t abiding, doing these things does little more than give you momentary peace, joy, and love. When you are abiding, doing these things only gets you in tune with the presence of God WHO IS peace, joy, and love.

I ask myself daily, is my peace, joy, and love rooted in my own heart, ability, self-discipline, or habits? Or is my peace, joy, and love deeply rooted in the God of peace, joy, and love?

Does my joy come from doing the right things? Or does it come from being in the presence of the Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Being IN Him makes my joy complete.

“If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:10-12

Hearts Aflame

Forgive my ramblings today, I'm on fire and not sure where to pour out my heart. I usually take a little more time to compose, edit, and meditate on my posts - but today I sense God saying, "Just spill your heart out." Recently, He's been leading me to do that more often. It feels good, but it is quite scary. I'm afraid I'm going to be unclear or not concise or cause others to question my intentions.

My prayer is that you accept this as ramblings from someone's who's heart is filled to the brim and extend a little grace my way!

"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia." 1 Thessalonians 1:6-7

I'm continuing my word study of JOY today and I found this verse. It made the "hairs" of my soul stand on end. I can't tell you how often the words "joy" and "suffering" appear in the same verse. I will count them once I'm done with study!

This concept of finding joy in suffering, or joy flowing out of suffering simply baffles me. I'm speechless as I try to stretch my arms around the fullness of the meaning. Here's another one which boggles me:

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5

Suffering, rejoicing, hope, and love uses as if one brings forth the next. I cannot find this in my own experience yet. However, I've found others who have experienced it. All I can do is share their story and pray if lights your heart aflame too.

Today, I was turned on to a story about Mehdi Dibaj. He was born a Muslim in Iran and converted to Christianity. He was imprisoned for 10 years for his beliefs. Two of those years were spent in solitary confinement. At the end of his sentence in 1994, he was told he would be put to death unless he renounced Jesus.

Here is his part of his response:
"They say "You were a Muslim and you have become a Christian." This is not so. For many years I had no religion. After searching and studying I accepted God's call and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to receive eternal life. People choose their religion but a Christian is chosen by Christ.
He says, "You have not chosen me but I have chosen you." Since when did He choose me? He chose me before the foundation of the world. People say, "You were a Muslim from your birth." God says, "You were a Christian from the beginning." He states that He chose us thousands of years ago, even before the creation of the universe, so that through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ we may be His. A Christian means one who belongs to Jesus Christ."

I'd implore you to read the full response here: http://www.farsinet.com/dibaj/
But watch out, it could be life changing for you! (And I pray it is!)

The story continues. Bishop Haik Hovsepian, an Armenian pastor worked very hard for the release of Pastor Dibaj. Bishop Haik brought worldwide attention to this situation and eventually caused the Iranian govenment to release Dibaj.

Within two weeks, Bishop Haik was abducted and killed. And within five months, Mehdi Dibaj was martyred for his faith.

These men knew the meaning of the above verses, heart, mind, soul, and strength and were thoroughly tested. Their joy, hope, and faith shine to us even today as a beacon of the glory of Jesus Christ.

HEART STIRRING
This stirs something deep within me which is bold enough to ask the question, "Are we ready?" Most American Christians have no concept of persecution or suffering for the sake of Christ. I'm not pointing fingers, casting stones, or trying to heap any shame on anyone. We've not had to be in the mode to fight to the physical death for what we believe in.

What is stirring within me is an ache for the many people around us who are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually dead. I also grieve for the Christ-followers who aren't fully alive in Christ. I wonder how many Christians there are who's faith, hope, and joy a SHINING banner of love going before them? Who's heart is so passionately on fire for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that they are willing to suffer and even die for their convictions? I, unfortunately, personally have not seen very many.

Want to know how Mehdi Dibaj came to a saving relationship with Jesus? He was a young Iranian boy who, along with everyone else, would hurl insults and persecute the Christians in a small village next to his. One day, he was throwing stones at a Christian woman who was going to the well to gather water. He was hoping to break her pot. One of his stones did just that and broke the clay pot she carried to fill with water. He immediately ran away. As he ran away, he fell and severely scraped his legs.

The woman came to him. He was sure she was going to beat him, and instead she started cleaning his wounds and ministering to him. Later in life, when another Christian woman was nursing his wounds in a hospital, he remembered the love of Christ flowing out of this Christian woman's heart toward him. He SAW CHRIST in her and knew what true love was.

Are we living like that to our neighbors who may not be hurling stones, but might be watching us to see why Jesus is different? That girl at the grocery store, she just might be watching to see how you love your children or if you will look her in the eyes with a care and concern for her eternal soul.

I spent about 12 years of my life as either an atheist or a Christian who didn't like other Christians. That was because of all the people I experienced who called themselves Christians but didn't really follow Christ. They were playing the "I'm a good person because I go to church" card but their hearts were not transformed.

I remember one man in particular when I was that girl in the grocery check out line. He was an openly professing Christian and a leading member of a local church. He treated me worse than anyone else who went through my line. He would bustle into the store and if we didn't have something in stock, or if we took too long to get it, or if we didn't open a line for him so he didn't have to wait, he would spew forth a litany of insults like I've never received before or since. I remember a co-worker saying to me, "If Jesus is the God he serves, then I want nothing to do with Jesus."

We may not be in fear of our very lives right now, but, people are watching. People who are in very real danger of spiritual death. What are we doing? How are we allowing the faith, hope, and joy of the God of the UNIVERSE, the Creator of all, to well up inside us, so that it spills love out to everyone we meet?

Are we more concerned with how our yard looks? Or how our stocks are doing? Or how the economy has affected our lifestyles? Do we care more about the summer specials on flip flops, or for the girl in the check-out line who may or may not be dead to God?

I'd suggest we start TODAY being far more concerned with how Jesus is being glorified in our lives. How the Gospel of Jesus Christ is reaching out to the world. How God can use our talents, time, skills, experiences, resources, and gifts to further His work of drawing people ever more closely to Him.

Next time someone hurls a rock at you, or irritates you in the grocery line, pay close attention to how you respond. You will never know what impact it might have.

Soul Rest

I've been continuing my word study of the Fruit of the Spirit and hit a little detour today. As I search through the Bible for words like; joy, love, hope, kindness, self-control, I've been finding a lot of the word, "rest". They seem to go hand-in-hand quite often.

So today, I took a tangent to study the word "rest" and came across something I just had to share. I don't have much time because my four year old is in the tub and I need to go to the store soon, 'cause you know my life doesn't offer a lot of times for rest. (God is too funny!)

Here is the scripture which stuck out to me:
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

True rest comes from taking on only the burdens God intends us to bear and relying upon Jesus to be rest for our souls. Hummmmm.... Once again I'm struck with the simplicity of this and how much I've tried to rest over the years. I spent two years contemplating what it meant to rest and ended up writing a retreat about how to rest. Yet somehow, the simplicity of resting IN the Lord escaped me once more.

He is truly gentle and humble and when we find ourselves IN HIM, we find rest which bathes our souls in the warmth of His love and massages our hearts with the strength of His mercy.

I want to find that kind of vacation on Kayak! Sign me up!

What makes Him "HIM"

“You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11

I’ve been doing a personal study on the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Lately, I keep getting stuck on JOY. Joy is a concept which has eluded me most of my life. I have often confused it with happiness or a joyful feeling. The older I get, the more I realize joy is something which wells up from something much deeper than emotions.

I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I do have some thoughts whirling around in my head which I wanted to capture.

The scripture tells us that God is love. In the same way, I believe, God is joy. Love and joy are not the emotions we think of when we use those words. No, they exist in the same realm as our souls - something intangible but undeniable. We can’t do open soul surgery and touch something physical. Yet, we all have awareness of our own souls. Our soul is what makes us “us” just as much as our facial features or body parts.

In the same way, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are what make God, God. They are as much of what makes Him “God” as my soul makes me “Teri”.

When I experience the very nature or the scriptures describe as the presence of God, I experience the purest form of those qualities. I tap into something which existed before time began. In essence, I become love, peace, joy, and all those other things IN and THROUGH God.

This kind of fruit does not come from my own hard work to try to BE loving, joyful, peaceful, or patient. I’ve tried for decades and it never seems to work for very long. I can maybe keep up the artificial appearance of joy and even fool myself. But, the moment life’s circumstances deal me a surprising blow – the good feeling is gone!

No. True and lasting love, peace, and joy only come from the Source - an intimate relationship with the Creator. Once I recognize I cannot humanly manufacture these qualities and they only exist in and through God, then it seems to all make sense.

If I seek God in all things, pray for His presence, ask to know Him more intimately - then I experience true JOY in the deepest level when I’m dancing the silly dance with my daughter. Joy wells up from within me when I’m making my husband’s lunch, laughing at a funny movie, or painting my toenails.

My job then is to focus on loving God, not striving to be more joyful. When I seek the presence of God in everything in my life, then everything in my life is filled with more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God cannot help but fill everything, everywhere with what makes Him, “HIM”.

Against such thing there is no law…