Restless Peace

Moving!

2009-10-29T10:28:00.001-05:00

Hello!
I'm moving this blog from here to www.restlesspeace.org. Please join me over there!

Connoisseur of the Moment

2009-07-15T09:42:00.004-05:00

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Sometimes I long to just sit and think. I really like being still and quiet (although I'm sure that's hard for some of you to believe.) I ache for time to let God near and simply hang out with Him. Many of my most special "God-moments" have been in the silence of contemplation.

In the same way, I long to just BE with my family with no agenda, no event to attend, no activity to engage in, and no where to go. I miss these moments so often because I'm thinking about what needs to happen in the next moment. I long to be a connoisseur of the moment.

Just a few years ago, I wasn't satisfied unless I filled every second of my waking hours with some form of movement. Now, I crave stillness. I'd love to be able to capture the moments and stretch them into something serene like in the Matrix movies. What changed in me? And why do I feel so incredibly worn out if I don't get my "serene stretch" often?

Age could be part of it, I'm sure. I also think a good night's sleep works into the equation. But, what I'm trying to find goes much deeper than these things. I can almost just catch it if I stay still long enough. When I am still, as I've been this morning, a fuzzy outline of the Truth comes into view.

If I could take a guess at what it is I'd say it looks very much like the rhythm of God. The rhythm of God and heartbeat of America look very different. God created the world to be in perfect harmony and rhythm with just enough hours in the day to do what He asks of us; nothing more and nothing less.

It is when I focus on being part of the rhythm of God that I become most alive. It is when I’m in the sweet spot of His heartbeat my productiveness shoots through the roof, because I focus my energy on what’s most meaningful.

When I’m there, I can hear even His slightest whisper, “call her, she needs to talk”, “serve that man, he is asking for help”, “hug your daughter and tell her you love her”, “affirm your husband, he’s feeling low today”.

Lord, help me be a connoisseur of the moment you have given me. I want to be nothing more and nothing less that this…

He Is - Part Three

2009-06-24T10:25:00.002-05:00

Final piece of He Is...
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He is OVER all things, IN all things, and THROUGH all things. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit – ONE, EQUAL, yet distinctly different. ALL with the same purpose. ALL with the same goal. ALL fully submitting to one another as they pursue us in perfect unity.

He is a mystery. He is child-like in His simplicity, yet indescribably complex. The only term which can adequately describe who He is, is “The I AM”. Too big to contain. Too wide to span. Too high to ascend. Too deep to understand.

He has left His mark in every cell, every DNA molecule, and every ray of light. He is in every drop of blood, every tear, and even in the “dark space” we cannot see, feel, taste, or measure.

This is who we seek. He is who we need to ask. We should be knocking on His door. For He is the One who finds, answers, and welcomes our hearts in the way we were designed to receive.

Yet, we ignore His advances. We turn a deaf ear to His call. We turn our back on His attempts to draw us close. We treat Him as if He was the cause of all our pain, suffering, betrayal, and sin.

We compartmentalize Him and stuff Him into a drawer until Sunday morning. Or we shift our schedule and take Him out on Saturday night so we can have Sundays all to ourselves. We read about Him, hear His Word, learn His story yet we remain unmoved. We cling to our lives, our comfort, and our security as if it was our own power and strength which brought it to life.

We miss Him even though He is present in everything. We believe in ourselves even though we know how imperfect we are. We focus so intently on ourselves, our circumstances, our desires, and our pain that we can’t see Jesus right smack in the middle of all of it.

Seek Him - don't miss Jesus one more moment. Ask Him - and listen for His response until you hear. Love Him - even if you aren't sure how. Trust Him - even when you are afraid.

He is there. He is speaking. He is loving. He is trustworthy. He is.

He Is - Part Two

2009-06-21T14:38:00.002-05:00

Continuation from He Is Part One...
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He is as unique as each person, yet as predictable as the sun set. He is big as the universe, yet small as a quark.

All creation groans to be with Him again as they once were in the garden. ALL creation. He is outside of time and space. Neither has any hold on Him. He is neither form nor matter but can be if He so chooses in whatever form He chooses to take on.

He knows what you want before you do. He knows what will bring you the greatest joy before you even know what joy is. He knows you better than you will ever know yourself. He sees everything even in the darkest reaches of your mind, heart, soul, and strength. He has never asked for our perfection – He knows that is impossible outside of His Son.

He has only asked for our passionate pursuit of HIS perfection which He offers freely to us at no cost. He knew what His perfection would cost Him, yet He still paid in full. He set us up for complete victory and offers it freely as a gift for anyone who would take it. All He asks is that we take it.

He also knew that outside of the garden, it would be very difficult for us to fully trust Him and see Him as the all-powerful, perfectly loving being He is. He knew that we would listen to voices other than His own and struggle finding our way to Him. So compelled by His great longing for us – He pursues His children with the passion of a Latin lover, wooing us, and persistently, relentlessly chasing us, calling to us to the ends of the earth if needed. He knows who will ultimately choose Him, using the free-will He gave, and those who will never choose Him regardless of what He does to prove His love for them.

He speaks. He pursues. He knows. He loves. He is love. HE IS.

He Is - Part One

2009-06-18T07:04:00.004-05:00

This last weekend I went on my annual, "Wander in the Wilderness with God". My family graciously allows me three days in the "wilderness" to be in quiet and solitude with God to simply hang out. Inevitably, God gives me such a downpour of love I can hardly contain it (See Teacup in the Monsoon from last August). This time was no different. I wanted to share one of the lines of thought that came to me in the wilderness. This is part one of a several part series.
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I want you to be challenged and challenged often. You should be often confused, perplexed, and sometimes annoyed by God as you try to navigate through this life as a Christ-follower. Thoughts of Him and His way should wake you up some nights as you grapple with surrendering your own will to Him. You should read stuff which completely up-ends your common belief system. You should doubt often, search for answers, and not find them.

If you aren’t wrestling with God to some extent you aren’t following Him. If you are completely challenged and caught off-guard by Him, then you aren’t obeying Him. If you aren’t absolutely ruined for the confines of this world and longing for more of Him, then you aren’t living the abundant life He promises.

God isn’t a pleasant conversation over a nice cup of tea in a casual coffee house – although He can be. His presence fills a mountain, shakes the very earth, and will disintegrate your flesh if you come to close.

God isn’t a laser light filled sanctuary with really cool music with a smoking horn section – although He can be if He chooses. He is a still small voice which causes you crumple to your knees exclaiming, “What a wretched, wretched sinner I am! I am unworthy to tie your sandals.”

God isn’t a feel-good movie which leaves you loving the world. God is a man, born in a barn, working his fingers to the bone, ridiculed, cursed, tested, rejected, betrayed, abandoned, tortured, and killed for the very people who nailed Him to a tree.

God isn’t a nice, neat activity you can check off your to-do list. He is every “thing”. He is over all, in all, and through all. He is.

God is bigger than you think He is. He cannot be contained. He speaks to everyone a little differently; through a bush, in a tabernacle, through a cloud of smoke hovering at the top of a mountain, in a rainstorm, in a dream, as a man sitting down to eat supper with you and your wife, in an earthquake, in a still small whisper, through a mistake, through another person’s mouth, through their trials, in a story you read about people you’ve never met, through a movie or book, through angels, through a booming voice and a descending dove, through a man who calls to you and says, “follow me”, or when He says, “Father forgive them for they no not what they do”, in the laughter of a child, or through the rush of wind in the trees, to the call of a humpback whale, in the symphony of sounds in the rain forest, or the deafening silence above tree-line on a mountain top, He speaks.

He moves. He compels. He welcomes. He convicts. He challenges. He nudges. He reveals. He restores. He heals. He destroys. He resurrects. HE IS...

3am Cry for Hope

2009-05-20T10:08:00.001-05:00

“I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.” Psalm 119:147 NIV

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with your chest tight with worry? You might have even set your worry aside in prayer before you went to bed, only to wake up in the dead of night with the fear-o-meter needle going haywire. Despite your best efforts to calm yourself back to sleep you toss and turn, flip the pillow, and practice deep breathing exercises there is still no sleepy, sleepy only wakey, wakey.

Has this ever happened to you? I get the wakey, wakeys when something is gnawing at me or some big event is looming in the near future. It happened to me just this morning at 3am. I have a few too many loose ends on my plate right now and I don’t cope very well with getting all the little details tied up! I woke up fretting that I might miss something important.

In the past, I’ve tried all the practical methods of dealing with the panic or anger which usually keeps me awake. I tried praying, praying out loud, singing, reading, breathing, and journaling. I’ve even tried sleep aids. (Just a side note, but a sleep aid taken at 3am doesn’t seem to take affect until about 20 minutes before your alarm goes off which makes for a very long next day.) Sometimes these things work and sometimes they don’t.

However, I’ve now found the silver bullet which works EVERY time: reading God’s word. It’s the only surefire method I’ve found to deal with the sense of hopelessness 3am attacks often bring. Somehow, someway, God’s designed the LIVING WORD to give you just what you need, just when you need it.

Now when I feel that desperation start to creep over me which tells me my worries have become too heavy, I get up, and open the Bible. I pray and ask God to lead me to the still waters of His love. Then I just start reading.

If the fire in my soul isn’t quenched within ten minutes, I go to www.biblegateway.com and type in what I’m feeling into the search like, “fear”, or “despair”, or “anger”, and then start reading the verses which pop up. In inevitably, just like this morning, the Word come which fill my heart to overflowing and I begin singing praise tunes in my head.

I’m finding sometimes it’s hard to go back to sleep just because I’m so filled with love for my Lord that I just want to stay and hang out with Him longer. I know, I know. It sounds crazy – but, it’s true. God’s Word never fails.

Try it the next time you find yourself crying out at 3am. You just might find you are crying with HOPE.

Joy Completed

2009-05-20T10:00:00.002-05:00

This is a continuation from the post, "What Makes Him Him".

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11

I’m still wondering what joy means to me personally. For some reason, I just don’t get JOY. It’s not the same as happiness because joy does not depend on “happenings”. I understand this at an intellectual level. I’ve even experienced joy at the emotional level, usually coming from watching something my kids have done.

But, I’ve been seeking what it means to experience joy at a SPIRITUAL level. I want the joy which comes from the Lord to well up inside me all the time. I don’t think that’s asking too much! Joy from the Lord doesn’t depend on anything but His goodness, and we know that He is always good. Logically this means because I have access to God through the Holy Spirit, I can always experience spiritual joy.

The verses which really cling to me about joy are in John 15 – the “ABIDE” chapter in the King James Version. Jesus is talking with His disciples just before the end. I can see Him almost pleading with them to get the concept of abiding (remaining) IN Christ.

Jesus is describing to them an almost mystical union between God, Jesus, and each of them personally. He says to “remain in me”. I’ve spent years trying to get this analytical brain around this concept. What does remaining IN Jesus look like, feel like, taste like, and how do you do it???

I’ve come to the conclusion, it doesn’t look very different than you would think; pray, read God’s Word, study, learn, serve, give, meditate. The outwardly actions aren’t much different than what most of us know is right. However, what IS different is the heart behind the actions. What motivates the action?

When you aren’t abiding, you see those things as a checklist of what a “good Christian” does. When you are abiding, you understand there are no “good Christians”, only a good God.

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone.” Mark 10:18

When you aren’t abiding, you do these things out of habit, duty, the need to feel better about yourself, or the need to look better to others. When you are abiding, you do these things because you can’t face this world without their healing balm and comforting strength.

When you aren’t abiding, doing these things does little more than give you momentary peace, joy, and love. When you are abiding, doing these things only gets you in tune with the presence of God WHO IS peace, joy, and love.

I ask myself daily, is my peace, joy, and love rooted in my own heart, ability, self-discipline, or habits? Or is my peace, joy, and love deeply rooted in the God of peace, joy, and love?

Does my joy come from doing the right things? Or does it come from being in the presence of the Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Being IN Him makes my joy complete.

“If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:10-12

Hearts Aflame

2009-05-14T14:11:00.003-05:00

Forgive my ramblings today, I'm on fire and not sure where to pour out my heart. I usually take a little more time to compose, edit, and meditate on my posts - but today I sense God saying, "Just spill your heart out." Recently, He's been leading me to do that more often. It feels good, but it is quite scary. I'm afraid I'm going to be unclear or not concise or cause others to question my intentions.

My prayer is that you accept this as ramblings from someone's who's heart is filled to the brim and extend a little grace my way!

"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia." 1 Thessalonians 1:6-7

I'm continuing my word study of JOY today and I found this verse. It made the "hairs" of my soul stand on end. I can't tell you how often the words "joy" and "suffering" appear in the same verse. I will count them once I'm done with study!

This concept of finding joy in suffering, or joy flowing out of suffering simply baffles me. I'm speechless as I try to stretch my arms around the fullness of the meaning. Here's another one which boggles me:

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5

Suffering, rejoicing, hope, and love uses as if one brings forth the next. I cannot find this in my own experience yet. However, I've found others who have experienced it. All I can do is share their story and pray if lights your heart aflame too.

Today, I was turned on to a story about Mehdi Dibaj. He was born a Muslim in Iran and converted to Christianity. He was imprisoned for 10 years for his beliefs. Two of those years were spent in solitary confinement. At the end of his sentence in 1994, he was told he would be put to death unless he renounced Jesus.

Here is his part of his response:
"They say "You were a Muslim and you have become a Christian." This is not so. For many years I had no religion. After searching and studying I accepted God's call and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to receive eternal life. People choose their religion but a Christian is chosen by Christ.
He says, "You have not chosen me but I have chosen you." Since when did He choose me? He chose me before the foundation of the world. People say, "You were a Muslim from your birth." God says, "You were a Christian from the beginning." He states that He chose us thousands of years ago, even before the creation of the universe, so that through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ we may be His. A Christian means one who belongs to Jesus Christ."

I'd implore you to read the full response here: http://www.farsinet.com/dibaj/
But watch out, it could be life changing for you! (And I pray it is!)

The story continues. Bishop Haik Hovsepian, an Armenian pastor worked very hard for the release of Pastor Dibaj. Bishop Haik brought worldwide attention to this situation and eventually caused the Iranian govenment to release Dibaj.

Within two weeks, Bishop Haik was abducted and killed. And within five months, Mehdi Dibaj was martyred for his faith.

These men knew the meaning of the above verses, heart, mind, soul, and strength and were thoroughly tested. Their joy, hope, and faith shine to us even today as a beacon of the glory of Jesus Christ.

HEART STIRRING
This stirs something deep within me which is bold enough to ask the question, "Are we ready?" Most American Christians have no concept of persecution or suffering for the sake of Christ. I'm not pointing fingers, casting stones, or trying to heap any shame on anyone. We've not had to be in the mode to fight to the physical death for what we believe in.

What is stirring within me is an ache for the many people around us who are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually dead. I also grieve for the Christ-followers who aren't fully alive in Christ. I wonder how many Christians there are who's faith, hope, and joy a SHINING banner of love going before them? Who's heart is so passionately on fire for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that they are willing to suffer and even die for their convictions? I, unfortunately, personally have not seen very many.

Want to know how Mehdi Dibaj came to a saving relationship with Jesus? He was a young Iranian boy who, along with everyone else, would hurl insults and persecute the Christians in a small village next to his. One day, he was throwing stones at a Christian woman who was going to the well to gather water. He was hoping to break her pot. One of his stones did just that and broke the clay pot she carried to fill with water. He immediately ran away. As he ran away, he fell and severely scraped his legs.

The woman came to him. He was sure she was going to beat him, and instead she started cleaning his wounds and ministering to him. Later in life, when another Christian woman was nursing his wounds in a hospital, he remembered the love of Christ flowing out of this Christian woman's heart toward him. He SAW CHRIST in her and knew what true love was.

Are we living like that to our neighbors who may not be hurling stones, but might be watching us to see why Jesus is different? That girl at the grocery store, she just might be watching to see how you love your children or if you will look her in the eyes with a care and concern for her eternal soul.

I spent about 12 years of my life as either an atheist or a Christian who didn't like other Christians. That was because of all the people I experienced who called themselves Christians but didn't really follow Christ. They were playing the "I'm a good person because I go to church" card but their hearts were not transformed.

I remember one man in particular when I was that girl in the grocery check out line. He was an openly professing Christian and a leading member of a local church. He treated me worse than anyone else who went through my line. He would bustle into the store and if we didn't have something in stock, or if we took too long to get it, or if we didn't open a line for him so he didn't have to wait, he would spew forth a litany of insults like I've never received before or since. I remember a co-worker saying to me, "If Jesus is the God he serves, then I want nothing to do with Jesus."

We may not be in fear of our very lives right now, but, people are watching. People who are in very real danger of spiritual death. What are we doing? How are we allowing the faith, hope, and joy of the God of the UNIVERSE, the Creator of all, to well up inside us, so that it spills love out to everyone we meet?

Are we more concerned with how our yard looks? Or how our stocks are doing? Or how the economy has affected our lifestyles? Do we care more about the summer specials on flip flops, or for the girl in the check-out line who may or may not be dead to God?

I'd suggest we start TODAY being far more concerned with how Jesus is being glorified in our lives. How the Gospel of Jesus Christ is reaching out to the world. How God can use our talents, time, skills, experiences, resources, and gifts to further His work of drawing people ever more closely to Him.

Next time someone hurls a rock at you, or irritates you in the grocery line, pay close attention to how you respond. You will never know what impact it might have.

Soul Rest

2009-05-13T09:33:00.002-05:00

I've been continuing my word study of the Fruit of the Spirit and hit a little detour today. As I search through the Bible for words like; joy, love, hope, kindness, self-control, I've been finding a lot of the word, "rest". They seem to go hand-in-hand quite often.

So today, I took a tangent to study the word "rest" and came across something I just had to share. I don't have much time because my four year old is in the tub and I need to go to the store soon, 'cause you know my life doesn't offer a lot of times for rest. (God is too funny!)

Here is the scripture which stuck out to me:
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

True rest comes from taking on only the burdens God intends us to bear and relying upon Jesus to be rest for our souls. Hummmmm.... Once again I'm struck with the simplicity of this and how much I've tried to rest over the years. I spent two years contemplating what it meant to rest and ended up writing a retreat about how to rest. Yet somehow, the simplicity of resting IN the Lord escaped me once more.

He is truly gentle and humble and when we find ourselves IN HIM, we find rest which bathes our souls in the warmth of His love and massages our hearts with the strength of His mercy.

I want to find that kind of vacation on Kayak! Sign me up!

What makes Him "HIM"

2009-05-04T21:53:00.002-05:00

“You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11

I’ve been doing a personal study on the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Lately, I keep getting stuck on JOY. Joy is a concept which has eluded me most of my life. I have often confused it with happiness or a joyful feeling. The older I get, the more I realize joy is something which wells up from something much deeper than emotions.

I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I do have some thoughts whirling around in my head which I wanted to capture.

The scripture tells us that God is love. In the same way, I believe, God is joy. Love and joy are not the emotions we think of when we use those words. No, they exist in the same realm as our souls - something intangible but undeniable. We can’t do open soul surgery and touch something physical. Yet, we all have awareness of our own souls. Our soul is what makes us “us” just as much as our facial features or body parts.

In the same way, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are what make God, God. They are as much of what makes Him “God” as my soul makes me “Teri”.

When I experience the very nature or the scriptures describe as the presence of God, I experience the purest form of those qualities. I tap into something which existed before time began. In essence, I become love, peace, joy, and all those other things IN and THROUGH God.

This kind of fruit does not come from my own hard work to try to BE loving, joyful, peaceful, or patient. I’ve tried for decades and it never seems to work for very long. I can maybe keep up the artificial appearance of joy and even fool myself. But, the moment life’s circumstances deal me a surprising blow – the good feeling is gone!

No. True and lasting love, peace, and joy only come from the Source - an intimate relationship with the Creator. Once I recognize I cannot humanly manufacture these qualities and they only exist in and through God, then it seems to all make sense.

If I seek God in all things, pray for His presence, ask to know Him more intimately - then I experience true JOY in the deepest level when I’m dancing the silly dance with my daughter. Joy wells up from within me when I’m making my husband’s lunch, laughing at a funny movie, or painting my toenails.

My job then is to focus on loving God, not striving to be more joyful. When I seek the presence of God in everything in my life, then everything in my life is filled with more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God cannot help but fill everything, everywhere with what makes Him, “HIM”.

Against such thing there is no law…

Only the Sticky Parts Left

2009-03-01T14:35:00.006-06:00

I find myself revisiting all the Disney classics lately. That's what happens when you have a three year old. Lily and I were watching a Winnie the Pooh episode the other day when Winnie was yet again trying to get another smackerel of honey from the honey jar. He says, "Oh bother! Empty again...only the sticky parts left!"

Immediately I got this image of most Christians trying desperately to serve their lives away operating only on the "sticky parts" of their honey jar. Their jars are emptied of the smooth flowing sweetness which God provides in abundance. Instead, they are trying to run off the power provided by hardened junk at the bottom of the jar.

Have you ever grown weary doing good? I have! It's my cue that I'm trying to accomplish God's will by my own power. I want to do good, yet I haven't taken the time to fill with God's goodness. I'm trying to scrape the goo off the bottom and make it taste sweet.

There is only one way to keep your honey jar perpetually filled and that is to be consistently getting filled by God. We need to be resting in Him, reading and studying His Word, praying to Him, partaking of His blessings, claiming His promises, and basking in His love. The more we fill up, the more honey there will be to give away.

One caution here is to avoid the opposite from happening, we fill our honey jars and then keep the goodness for ourselves. Honey left on the shelf doesn't do any good to anyone. It will simply rot over time.

Jesus told us that if we ABIDE IN Him, meaning put our relationship with Him first before all things, then we will produce much fruit. I'm talking more than just doing a 60 second devotional each morning. I mean praying, talking, studying, seeking, asking, and knocking on a consistent basis. When we do this, our lives will be overflowing with honey.

We need to allow God the time and space to love on us. He wants to show us in miraculous ways how true His love is. When we continually experience God's love, we won't be able to help giving our lives to others. We won't be able to stop serving them. It will simply flow from experiencing God's love in our own lives.

So, how full is your honey jar?

"I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing." John 15:5 The Message

Love Motivates

2009-03-01T09:30:00.003-06:00

Life has thrown us a few curves lately and I've been using all my energy just to cope through them. Today, I'm trying to get back on my routine of spending significant quiet time with God. I find that I have to "catch-up" with God a lot. Just when I get into a solid rhythm, something happens which I allow to disrupt the flow.

It seems like the very thing I want the most, growing in my relationship with Jesus, is the first thing which falls off the plate. The first to go is my daily Bible reading. That slips off and falls "splat" on the floor. The second is my quiet prayer time. I often don't realize I'm forgetting to do it. Days might slip by before I realize why my heart feels so heavy.

When life becomes too hectic, my "wander in the wilderness" time with God suffers. Sundays are my day to enjoy a sabbath with my Lord. These are the days I spend in study, meditation, prayer, and journaling. Wisdom is my strongest spiritual gift, so studying and seeking wisdom is the most effective style of worship for me. I revel in the vastness of God's love and power on Sundays.

Lately, in those moments when I don't let the important things fall off the plate, I've been hearing God speak to me about "self-discipline." I believe what He is getting across to me is that I'm at a place in my walk when I cannot let those things fall off the plate. When life gets the craziest is when I need to put my energy and time into God first not last.

I'm definitely a spontaneous person. I love riding the wave of life and enjoy when new things come my way. Self-discipline and steadiness is not a strong point in my character. There was a time in my life when I forced myself to be disciplined. However, I used guilt as the "whip" to keep myself in line. Over the last few years, God has freed me from the performance driven guilt which used to keep me captive. However, now I can't seem to find a good enough "whip" to keep me on my toes.

When I don't understand something, the only thing I know to do anymore is go to God's Word. I've been doing a search on "self-discipline" and reading the whole context of each instance of the phrase. Today as I spend quiet time with God, the answer is starting to come. It's still only a fuzzy outline of the whole picture, but if I squint really hard I can just make it out. LOVE. Love is the motivator which helps me keep God first and life second. LOVE is what compels me to read His Word, pray, and seek His will above all things.

His love for me is the most gentle, loving, patient "whip" I will ever know.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

Desconstruct/Reconstruct

2009-01-28T16:54:00.007-06:00

“Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

I’ve been doing a study on what God views as wise and what He thinks is foolish. It’s quite study and often leaves me more confused than feeling wise. I do see why Solomon thought it may cost you everything to gain understanding!

Jesus was good at causing confusion to those around Him. He was always tearing down the commonly held beliefs of a righteous life and then rebuilding it to look much different than any would expect. Matt Chandler calls this approach of Jesus the process of "deconstructing religion and reconstructing the Kingdom".

The way Jesus deconstructed and reconstructed commonly held wisdom, shook up the world around Him. It causes the vilest of sinners to turn around and the most righteous of priests to have murderous thoughts toward Him. Here are some of theses topsy-turvy things which have stuck out to me lately:

You must lose your life to find it. (See Matthew 16:25)
I came to serve not be served. (See Matthew 20:28)
You must be the last to be the first. (See Matthew 20:16)
If you want to be great, you must become a servant. (See Matthew 20:26-27)
He went to the sick and poor, the tax collector and the prostitute, and the otherwise outcast. His closest disciples were fishermen He picked up right out of the boat (picture a “Deadly Catch” crew.)
I didn’t come to bring peace... But a sword. (See Matthew 10:24)
Blessed are the poor, those who hunger now, those who weep, you when men hate you, exclude you, insult you, or reject you because of Jesus.
YET

“But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.
Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.
Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” (See Luke 6)

Love your enemy, bless those who persecute you… (See Matthew 5:43-48)
It is easier for a camel to be thread through a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom. (See Matthew 19:23-24)
He was born to a virgin in a barn with only shepherds there to sing announce His birth.
He spoke in parables we still struggle to fully grasp their meaning.
Why did He walk on water to the boat? Why didn’t He just calm the sea from where He was? (Okay so that one doesn’t quite fit but I still have to ask the question. I think it’s because He wanted to teach them the lesson of faith despite the storm.)
At the last supper, He wanted to show His disciples the full extent of His love, so He washed their feet (See John 13). He rebuked Peter for trying to stop Him.
YET, He allowed a very sinful woman to wash His feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair as He was rebuking a Pharisee for judging her(See Luke 7). He also allowed another woman to anoint His feet with perfumed oil and rebuked a disciple who suggested the gesture was too extravagant (See John 12).
He was beaten, mocked, spit at, tortured, lashed almost to the point of death, nailed to a wooden beam, and left to suffocate and/or bleed to death. He knew about it before hand and still allowed them to do it. After this was done to Him, He cried out in their defense, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” (that one absolutely blows me away!) Ultimately, He gave up His own life by His own will.
Everyone thought that was the end and yet again, God makes us think again. After three days in the tomb, God bodily resurrected Jesus.
God made Jesus authority over everything (See John 17).
YET,

“He was pierced for our transgressions
Crushed for our sin
The punishment which brought us peace
Was upon Him
And by His wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes just letting these things soak into my soul. I simply cannot wrap myself around the vastness of this wisdom. It's almost driving me crazy trying to grasp on to something. YET, there is something so deep, so ancient, and so true which compels me to keep trying.

I have nothing to say, no conclusion to draw which encompasses the depth, height, length, and width of God. It would take me a lifetime of writing to even come close. And that my friends, is what I intend to do, Lord willing!

I will leave us with a few other thoughts which are coming from the exploration of my next book, The Tipping Point, From Doing to Being.

DOING the CHRISTIAN THING
I realize how much I need God in my life.

BEING a CHRIST-FOLLOWER
God IS my life.

DOING the CHRISTIAN THING
I’ve asked Jesus to come into my heart.

BEING a CHRIST-FOLLOWER
Jesus owns my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I am nothing without Him.

DOING the CHRISTIAN THING
What would Jesus do in my place?

BEING a CHRIST-FOLLOWER
Jesus already took my place – what IS He doing in and through me right now?

Unplugging

2009-01-20T15:49:00.000-06:00

10 years ago I was a successful business woman, quickly climbing up the corporate ladder. I was a “good” mom, daughter, and friend. My financial portfolio was strong for being a 32 year-old single parent. I attended church regularly, tithed faithfully, volunteered, prayed, and studied my Bible as any good Christian should. I’m pretty capable on my own power. I can keep a lot of things going at the same time and do it fairly well from the world’s perspective.

The funny thing is, I wasn’t fulfilled. I kept searching for MORE. I wasn’t sure what I wanted MORE of – but, I just wasn’t filled. I tried doing MORE; more Bible studies, more time with my children, more success at work, and more financial security. I even tried buying more earthly comforts. But, nothing brought the fulfillment which I knew I wanted but had never really experienced.

That was the year God started to “UNPLUG” me. He unplugged me from my corporate career. He unplugged me from financial security. He unplugged me from many of the earthly comforts I had. That was hard.

Then He started unplugging me from my independency and self-reliance. Then came the stripping down of pride and preconceived notions of being “good enough”. Then came more unplugging from my quest to be successful which entailed the ugliness of my pride, envy, and need to control. This type of unplugging has proved to be excruciating.

Don’t hear me say that I have “arrived” and no longer deal with this junk. NOPE – that is definitely not what I saying. However, I have been stripped down many layers in the last ten years. It makes it easier to deal with junk as it comes, but sometimes that makes the junk harder to see.

Deemed Prepared?
As I look back over the unplugging, I realize everything that has gone well for me has prepared me for God’s calling on my life. I also realize how much God has used the things which haven’t gone right, the discomforts, the lack of control, and a lack of success – all of it has gone to strip me of what wasn’t necessary for the journey ahead.

Ten years later, I stand a few months shy of 42 years old and by the world’s standards I’m about as unsuccessful as you can be in America. I’m at the very beginning of the ministry God has called me to do when I am at the weakest by the world’s standards.

It makes no sense, but this is the point when God deems me prepared. Maybe in order to be prepared, you come to the end of what you can do on your own power? Maybe God needs to get us to the point when we have no choice but to let Him take over?

“How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies.” 1 Corinthians 15:36

Doug Encounter

2009-01-20T15:42:00.001-06:00

"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 14:19

I was part of a God orchestrated encounter last week. The more I grow to trust God, the more I see how much effort He puts into His orchestrations within the symphony of life. God has purpose in every symbol strike, every pluck from the violins, and each note the woodwinds blow.

I was without internet access at home for a few days (enter the strings softly) so I needed to get somewhere to login to check my messages. Due to some strange circumstances, I happened to be on the far side of town (start a soft tympani roll with a light cymbal strike). Thirsty for some tea, I stopped at a local bookstore to accomplish my work and for refreshment (the strings pluck a lively little jig and tympani rolls again.)

Doug was at the counter getting his hot chocolate (the woodwinds begin to add a little drama to the ensemble). He was an older gentleman who had obviously been someone who was used to getting what he wanted.

He was a bit demanding and a tad irritable to the girl behind the counter (the strings pluck even more vigorously). He couldn’t get logged on to the internet and was wanted her to help him. She brushed him aside to help me. I got my tea and found an empty table to set up my mini office (music slows down again and the oboe plays a soothing melody).

I opened up my computer to dive into work, but I couldn’t get logged in either. By this time, Doug had called for the manager so she could help. I decided to work with them to help figure out what was wrong (all instruments join in to bring a joyful feel to the stanza).

It was a quick change and soon Doug was up and running. He thanked me and introduced himself. We exchanged names and he told me he is a retired lawyer (back to the pleasant, lively beat). “Teri, what do you do?” I said, “I’m a writer.”

“Really?” He replied, “What do you write about?” Oh no – that’s the question of doom (the highly dramatic interlude begins). When I say, “I want others to know more about Jesus Christ”, it’s almost a sure bet to shut down the conversation. This time however, it opened the door. Doug wanted to know more about Jesus.

After an hour and a half of talking with Doug about Jesus, I gave him a copy of my book, which by the way, I had found just that morning in a stack of other books (cymbals crash wildly).

We walked out to the parking lot together, and he asked me to pray for a couple of specific things on his behalf (music becomes soft again.) So, I prayed for him right there and then in the parking lot.

After I said, “Amen”, I thought we would be done, but Doug took over and prayed for me. It was a very touching prayer. I was humbled and grateful (the final stanza is a beautiful mix of melody and harmony which brings the crowd to tears).

I walk away from that experience amazed at God and what lengths He will go to in order to show the full extent of His love. Doug certainly felt the love of Christ that day in miraculous ways and so did I. God will orchestrate even the smallest details of our lives if we allow Him too.

I can see God’s idea of the abundant life is one with many, many “Doug encounters.” My prayer is that I remain open for each and every one He wishes to orchestrate in my life (cymbals crash, strings hold one last note bringing this symphony to finale).

To the Knee I Go

2009-01-14T17:02:00.003-06:00

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Matthew 5:5

I’ve been exploring the concept that the root of every sin is based in our distrust of God. I’ve come to believe there are two basic reasons which keep us from giving all of ourselves to God; fear and pride. We’ve already looked at fear in the last post. At the very core, we’re afraid we can’t trust God to come through for us as He’s promised.

Pride is the other outward sign of our distrust in God. Pride is when we tell God we know better than He does. We are prideful when we distrust God’s sovereignty.

God lays down only a few “rules” for humans like:

"And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." Genesis 2:16-17

These rules give us the boundaries of abundant life. God knows exactly what boundaries humans need because He knows what’s best. Why? He’s sovereign; perfect in righteousness and wholly just with ultimately authority.

We know pride is at the core of our sin when we start saying things like, “Hey wait a minute! I don’t agree with that rule. God Himself is going to have to prove that one to me before I believe it.” Or “That one is only meant for those super “Jesus freaks”, not for the normal people.” We may find ourselves making justifications, “Why, that was surely only meant for the culture thousands of years ago. That will never work in today’s society.” Or maybe, “God wants me to be happy, right? This makes me happy!”

Pride causes us to go against the will of God even when we know His will. Pride may also make us neglect to seek His will in case His will may go against what we really want to do. Pride keeps us from the abundant life when we say things like, “I like my life just the way it is, Lord. Don’t go messing around with it.”

It’s a good thing God knows us so well because He has the perfect antidotes to our sin. Just like the antidote for fear is perfect love, I believe the antidote for pride is perfect humility. Humility happens when we learn the hard way God is more than a genie in a bottle meant for our own happiness. I call it the “loving swap on the back side.” It happens when God allows us to take a little fall and we fall into His loving arms.

When we get the proverbial rug pulled out from under us, try going to a knee rather than shaking a fist. You may be surprised at what you’ll find. From my experience, I can tell you - you will find MORE on your knee…

Perfected Love

2009-01-11T16:21:00.000-06:00

This is a continuation from the last entry “Extravagance”…

ON FEAR
Even though the abundant life promise can be incredibly exciting, it can also be really scary. Just by the nature of God, we can be assured His plan for our lives will lead us out of our personal comfort zone.

He wants to do immeasurable more in us and through us than we can even imagine and, it will be by HIS power, not our own. This means we won’t be able to control the outcome if God is truly running the show. Drat!

I’m sure the three men Jesus called to on the sea shore that day 2,000 years ago didn’t know what was going to happen when they followed Jesus. What exactly is a “fisher of men?” But, there was something in Jesus’ eyes, something in the way He spoke, something in the way He loved them which compelled them to follow regardless of their fear.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

I’ve spent quite a bit of my life being afraid. Fear is at the foundation of almost all my sin. I can’t tell you how much of my energy has been wasted on worry. I’ve been consumed with fear that my needs won’t get met the way I want. I’ve also spent too much time and effort in seeking approval from others. It’s something which I constantly fight. I like to be liked! I like to prove myself to others. It often makes me weary.

The fear I’ve experienced has been rooted in my distrust of God’s perfect love. If God loves me perfectly, then my needs will be met in perfect ways. If God loves me so intently, then His approval is all I need. That is why experiencing God’s perfect love is essential to growing our trust and dispelling fear.

What God asks of us is very different. He asks us to “fear God” by trusting Him completely. I found these lovely verses yesterday in Psalm 128:1-2 and have been letting them wash over me like a warm bath:

“How happy are those who fear the Lord – all follow his ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How happy you will be! How rich your life!”

He wants us to enjoy the life He has given us! Trusting God’s love completely will free me from worry and fear.

In 2009, my prayer is for God to continue to perfect His love in me and through me so my fearful mind is freed up to focus on giving my life away. That is what God means by a rich and abundant life – freed from fear and enjoying the fruit of the labor as I follow His ways!

Extravagance

2009-01-11T16:18:00.000-06:00

I’m still pondering the human need for comfort, control, and power. Here are more thoughts…

WHY THOSE TEMPTATIONS?
Why was Jesus tempted like He was in the desert? Why comfort, control, and power? I think that they are the outward symptoms of a “cancer” we all suffer from. Allow me put on a scientific hat for a moment…

If you look at our human desire for comfort, control, and power under a microscope, you’ll see they are made of cells called fear and pride. If you use a higher powered lens to look closely at the cells, you’ll see that fear and pride are made up of tiny molecules of distrust of God.

In the simplest of terms, we do not trust ourselves completely to God. If you’re human, you can’t avoid this. It was wired into our DNA the moment God gave us free-will. Distrust of God is what drove Eve to put the fruit to her lips. She was tempted by power and control and didn’t rebuke them with her trust in God like Jesus did.

God promises He has the perfect plan and purpose for our lives. He says He will provide every need to do His Will because He loves us beyond our comprehension. He promises us if we trust and follow Him, He will lead us into abundant life.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20

What’s inherent in those promises is that this abundant life will probably look different than what we’re envisioning for ourselves. Chances are, God’s dream for our life won’t like exactly like the “American Dream”. Yet, God promises it will be better and more fulfilling.

What if the abundant life God promises is different from own life goals? What if what God wants to do through us, by HIS power at work within us, is the extravagance God wants to lavish on us? What if our need for comfort, control, and power is actually costing us the abundant life God promises?

“[ Wake Up from Your Sleep ] Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Ephesians 5:1 The Message

(More on fear and pride to come…)

Desert Temptations

2009-01-07T18:15:00.003-06:00

I've been reading about the testing of Jesus in the desert. It came to me that Jesus was tempted with these things (see Matthew 4):

Comfort – Jesus could have turned anything into food or water. He could have had any comfort He desired – it was all available to Him. But, for some reason forgoing comfort to rely on God was more important to Him.
Control – I envision Satan giving Jesus a wink, and with a smirk saying, “Jump – come on – You know nothing will happen. The angels will save you.” In essence, if you do this, God will do this – an expected outcome from a controlled input.
Power – Jesus could have had all the power of the world, except power over Satan. The only way Jesus would have power over Satan is if He willingly sacrificed His life.

The Response
Jesus responds with God’s heart on the subject (from the NKJV):

Comfort - Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
Control - You shall not tempt the LORD your God.
Power - You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.

Jesus rebuked every temptation with His trust in His Father.

Once Jesus was tempted, tested, and past the test – He was then deemed, “PREPARED” to begin His ministry. Jesus ran into these same temptations during His three year ministry and was prepared to overcome them.

Jesus obviously didn’t live comfortably. Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Matthew 8:20

Jesus didn’t have to go to the cross. He could have prayed for His own will to be done in the Garden of Gethsemane. Really, Jesus didn’t have to even stay up on the cross. He could have controlled the outcome anyway He wanted.

Many, many times Jesus was tempted with power, success, and prestige. But over and over again, Jesus chose to serve only God. He is God yet He chose to relinquish His Kingdom, be born in a barn, and serve all mankind.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45

SoapBox

2008-12-25T18:26:00.003-06:00

Christmas always gets me going. I search for that soapbox to get up on and scream at the world. I promise I won't scream...much.

Contemplate this description of Christ in Isaiah 53:2-5:

"He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed."

When I contemplate the gift which God gave us in Jesus, somehow, I don't envision celebrating His birth in the "me-centered" way we do.

Christmas is the time for the most family altercations, the highest level of depressions and suicides, the highest use of credit cards, and the most amount of disappointed people because they didn't get what THEY wanted out of Christmas.

I watched my three-year old daughter, Lily, ask about a dozen times, "where are my presents?" I can't help but envision God watching us going through the throws of the Holiday season with some disappointment. We are missing the opportunity to truly celebrate our Savior.

They way most of us celebrate Christmas is not a reflection of who Christ is and what He did on earth. Most of our traditions are not centered on the mission of Christ. I'm finding Christ is mostly an after thought in our traditions. Most of our traditions are centered on our own fulfillment.

My husband got a full-dose of what I think the celebration of God's gift is all about. Someone gave us a bike to give our daughter. My husband had already bought her a bike for Christmas. The people who gave it to us said, "Give it away to someone else." My husband put the bike in the back of his Jeep until he could figure out what to do with it.

He wasn't really thinking about it when he was driving one day and passed a woman and a little girl, just about the same age as Lily. He felt instantly compelled that they were just the ones to get the bike. He drove back, opened up the back, set the bike out and said, "Merry Christmas!"

He said, "I can't remember what I got for last Christmas, but the look on their faces will stay with me forever." Now THAT is celebrating an eternal, loving, and life-giving God.

Next year, we're going to purchase gifts to keep in our car to give away. I want Lily to exclaim, "Mommie, where are the presents to give away?" THEN she will understand who Jesus is.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45

Absolutely Ruined

2008-12-20T19:51:00.008-06:00

I haven't written for awhile as I've been doing heads down, keep your nose to the grind stone writing. Tonight, I felt drawn to writing something a little lighter. Maybe "lighter" isn't a good word choice here, maybe it's just more free-form and personal than what I've been writing. I needed a moment tonight to just let my hair down and write what's on my heart.

I recently read a quote from Matt Chandler's (the lead pastor of The Village Church in Dallas) blog and it keeps reverberating around in my mind - resonating within my heart - almost haunting me. He says (I added the emphasis):

"He grabbed hold of every part of me and has absolutely ruined me for anything but Him. The process of sanctification has been and still is quite often a very difficult one. No one told me (or maybe they did) that Jesus wanted my heart. I thought there was going to be some behavior modification and some new friends but I didn’t understand how He was going to search and destroy in me anything that wasn’t of Him. Nor did I understand how dark my heart truly was and how out of fear, pride and arrogance I would argue, complain and resist almost every advance of the Holy Spirit to reconcile every part of my being into holiness."

If I had to summarize the emotions I feel in my passionate pursuit of Jesus Christ - this pretty much nails it. He has ruined me for everything else but Him. Nothing brings me the same "high" as it once did. He keeps destroying those parts of me which don't reflect His image.

Two things strike me funny about this:

ONE - I told Him He could do this to me. Yes! I gave Him permission to seek and annihilate all that isn't of Him. I consistent tell Him He owns me - I am His slave - all that I am and all that I'm not is His to do with as He pleases. I surrender and relinquish my control over my life as well as the many, many expectations I have about what my life should be and shouldn't be on a daily basis. I ASKED for it!

TWO - I wouldn't change it for anything. Nothing is compares to what He has given me in return. Nothing. Nadda. Zilch.

One of the many projects I'm working on is an exploration of the "Tipping Point". What does it take a Christ-follower to "tip over" from the mundane, "I go to church on Sundays" kind of faith to a passionate, all-out, onslaught of pursuit kind of faith?

I've come to the conclusion that it takes an evacuation - an emptying. The more we surrender to Jesus our fears, our pride, our expectations, our dreams, our skewed sense of right and wrong, and our own desires - the more space we open up for Him to fill with all those things we really want; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Okay, so that sounded very simplistic, but I think it is really that simple. However, living it out is what is so difficult. I have literally argued, complained, and resisted this process at almost every stage. In fact, I'd add moaned, whined, bargained, and pouted to the list as well. I have not done this journey gracefully, that is for sure, but I have done it and still am willfully allowing God to empty me of my life so He can replace it with my true life.

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:29

I'm so glad it doesn't take my perfection because I'm not even in the same ballpark. I'm convinced this journey toward God simply takes my passion and persistence and HIS perfection. That is the recipe to be absolutely ruined for anything but Jesus.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-23T02:05:00.003-06:00

It's been quite awhile since I posted a blog. I've been busy working on some new projects and haven't taken time to breath. But, I woke up tonight with one thought in mind - thanksgiving.

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:4-5

I have to admit, I'm not very good at the thanksgiving part. I often forget to say "thank you" to the Lord. I can't remember the last time I entered His gates with thanks. So, as often God does, I got a little nudge in the middle of the night to get up and spend some time in praise. He has to get me up in the middle of the night because that's about the only time my mind is still enough to listen clearly!

We have an incredible country with freedoms few others have ever experienced in the history of mankind. Even though things seem tight financially, we have more material wealth and access to material good than any other nation.

I praise God for allowing me to live somewhere I can express my faith so boldly in a public medium. I thank God for providing the marvel of wireless connection to a secured networked internet which is accessible 24x7x365.

I praise Him for my family. My parents who have sacrificed almost everything they have to make sure their kids got a better life than they did. I thank Him for placing me with parents who taught strong ethical values, good relationship skills, and how to love Jesus with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

I give thanks for my husband and all the hard work he's been doing this past year. I thank Him for my children, Steven, Leah, and Lily who have all taught me how to be a better human and Christ-follower. I praise Him for the people they are becoming! I thank Him for a dry and warm roof over my head and the comforts of life which come so freely in America. I am really grateful for the wide variety of good food available in every grocery store. It's amazing what we can buy.

I thank Him for creating me in such a way that I long to seek a deeper connection with Him. There are many things I enjoy in my life, but the the thing which brings me the most joy is my pursuit of Jesus Christ. Everything else pales in comparison to the fruit which comes from an all-out quest for more of Christ.

When I think of the ways He has met, challenged, comforted, healed, and loved me, I fall to my knees. The rest of my life will be my attempt at conveying all that He has done for me, in me, and through me.

I thank Him for being a ferociously loving God who cares about even the smallest details. I praise Him for patiently waiting, nudging, and forgiving as I stumble around in my search for Him. And I;m grateful for the assurance of living eternally with Him.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and may you have a blessed time together with your Lord, your friends and family, and those who God places in your path.

Living Hope

2008-10-25T23:00:00.005-05:00

"[Praise to God for a Living Hope] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead," 1 Peter 1:3

What I love most about hope is we can't manufacture it ourselves. We can't conjure it out of our emotions. We can't make ourselves feel it. Hope must come from God. I'm talking about true hope; the assurance of things unseen kind of hope - not the feel good, "I really hope this will happen" kind of hoping.

Hope is given to us through who Christ is, what He did on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin, and what God accomplished when He raised Jesus from the dead three days later. They did all the work and those of us who truly follow Christ get all the benefit.

Do you know what stands in our way of having LIVING HOPE? What holds us back from receiving it in full? OUR FAITH. OUR BELIEF. OUR TRUST. OUR SELF. As soon as I take the focus off my self, stop staring at my circumstances, drag my gaze off my emotions and turn my eyes toward the resurrected, living Lord Jesus - hope, faith, and trust rush in.

When Peter first got out of the boat, his eyes were fixed on Jesus. Something in the way Jesus looked at Peter compelled him out of the boat and gave him hope. The minute Peter looked at the waves, he sank. There was no possible way for Peter to walk on water without Jesus.

Most of us work as hard as we can to do all the "right things", say the right words, go to the right church, read the right Bible studies. All which are good things. But, without our focus being on the Living Hope of Jesus, they are worthless. The Bible calls them hay and straw. We can do nothing worth anything without the power of Christ moving through us.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of trying to walk on water while I'm looking at the waves.

Where is your focus today? On our living hope or on our self? Are our gazes transfixed on the face of Jesus or are they staring down at the waves of life's circumstances? As we move forward in this time of great unknowns in America - where are our eyes looking?

Please remember to pray for our country and our candidates. And always remember who your hope lies in.

Quiet Hope

2008-10-11T08:23:00.005-05:00

Thoughts of hope have been filling my mind lately. The last few weeks I've been doing an internal hope assessment by running through memories of my life and checking their "hopefulness levels". Frankly on the whole, I failed the test miserably. I have not been a very hope-filled person.

I've been a dreamer, for sure - but I've learned it is not the same thing as being hope-filled. I've always been the glass half-full gal, the "let's make lemonade from these lemons" cheerleader. My pastor lovingly told me that I have a "Pollyanna way of thinking." Yet, as I did my hope litmus test, I realize optimism is not the same as hopeful, at least not in God's eyes.

As I peel back the sunshiny layers of my optimism, as I strip off the high-gloss paint I've used, underneath I realize my hope has been in ME, in MY abilities, in ME making things happen, in ME avoiding things which could harm me. I've put great faith in my common sense, experience, and driven enthusiasm.

I believe that's why I can be so easily disappointed. I'm upset with myself for not making it happen. I feel stupid for, "not seeing that one coming." I get so mad at myself when I make mistakes. I've spent so much of my life disappointed in MYSELF.

True hope is not wishful thinking. That's the sunshine and roses mentality. No, true hope is the assurance of God's promises. Real hope doesn't depend on ourselves at all. A hope-filled person depends only on God. They move through their lives with complete assurance of God's love for them. They realize that God can use every single situation, every lost opportunity, every joy, every sorrow, and every mistake in their life to teach them more about God's love, grace, and mercy.

Hope flows out of a conviction in the deepest part of our soul that everything is filtered through our Father's fingers. Nothing escapes Him. He allows or doesn't allow circumstances in our lives which give us the greatest opportunity to learn how to love Him and love others. He created us, He knows us more intimately than anyone else, and He loves us perfectly. He knows just what it will take for us to grow in our faith, hope, and love.

Our responsibility is to believe. We need to choose to believe we have enough for today because God said it's true. When we aren't happy with our circumstances, we must act on the faith they are Father-filtered and ultimately in our best interest. When we are afraid, we need ask ourselves if God is for us, who can be against us? We must CHOOSE to place our hope only in God's promises.

The peace overflows when our hope is placed in the right place, when we quietly go about doing the best we're capable of today, and surrendering the rest to Jesus.

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:5-6

Money and Manure

2008-10-02T21:28:00.008-05:00

We're all thinking about it. We're all talking about it. I'm sure most of us are even worrying about it - the economy. It's coming close to home now and we are being forced to deal with the issue. Money, money, money.

As you know from my last post, God has been hard at work on me "hope sculpting". He wants me to look for the hope instead of the disappointment in every circumstance. It's been a wonderful journey with Him over the last couple of weeks as I've been learning to see the world through God's eyes rather than human eyes.

As I look at the unrest in the world today; economically, politically, religiously, and with the possibility of nuclear weapons to falling into the hands of madmen - there is a lot of potentiality for disappointment. But, today I see with a different set of eyes and two veins of thought keep coming back to me; manure and forced fasting.

MANURE
Someone sent me a devotional last week and the last line was, "Adversity is often God's manure for spiritual callings." I'm not sure who said it, but it is brilliant. We spend so much energy keeping ourselves safe, protecting ourselves from adversity of any kind. Yet, most of the time, it is in the throws of adversity and suffering when our faith is at it's peak and we feel God closest to us. Why then do we avoid it at almost any cost?

What if you knew the only way you would find your calling, your purpose for existence, was to experience some really rough times? What if God used deep disappointment to reveal His perfect plan for our lives? Would you walk through that valley?

I could name person after person after person who went through very dark times their lives only to find their true passion and calling on the other side. What if God needs to fertilize our hearts through adversity to grow our spiritual garden into something beautiful? Are we willing to allow the God-filtered manure in our lives to blossom in full bloom?

FORCED FAST
There is another story I read recently which keeps coming back to me as I think about the condition of the world. I've read a lot about Corrie Ten Boom recently. I'd highly recommend that everyone read at least one of her books, and I'd start with, The Hiding Place. Anyway, her sister, Betsie, was filled with hope even up to the moment she died in the concentration camp.

Corrie later relayed many stories of Betsie's undying trust and faith. The one that sticks with me is about being thankful for everything. In the concentration camp, food was very scare and there were often times when there wasn't enough to go around. People wasted away before your very eyes. In the camp that Corrie and Betsie were in, 96,000 women died in the few years it was operational. Many died from malnourishment and disease.

Anyone under those conditions would become resentful. The guards had plenty to eat and they often delighted in watching the prisoners suffer. Corrie writes about how much hatred she harbored toward her captors. However, Betsie somehow saw the situation with different eyes. She would say, "Corrie, we must thank God for this forced fast. It is yet another opportunity for God to show us He is sufficient for all our needs." Wow.... Corrie said they would pray that prayer together, and miraculously their hunger subsided as if they had a meal.

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' Matthew 4:4

For some of us, this depressed economic situation will mean we will suffer some "forced fasts". Not necessarily as drastic as those in the concentration camps. However, I have a feeling some of us will have to fast from some of the comfort we've grown accustomed to having. It might mean there will be no new car this year or next. Or maybe you won't be able to go on the vacation you're used to taking with the family. Maybe it might cut a little deeper and mean you have to give up cable or the membership at the gym. You might have to sell that gas-guzzling car for less than it's worth and buy a smaller, more economical vehicle.

For some, it might mean giving up some things that most Americans take for granted like slimming down your food bill to just bare essentials, or buying clothes at the second-hand shops or garage sales. Some of us might even be forced to sell our homes and live in an apartment. For fewer of us, it might mean going hungry once in awhile because there simply isn't enough food.

In the last couple of years, I've experienced some pretty intense forced fasts. Probably more intense than most Americans but not even remotely close to other areas of the world. Even poor people in America have it better than most other nations. It's not been fun and frankly, I haven't liked it very much. However, in a forced fast you can quickly learn how dependent you are on God's provision and how much you can trust Him.

FERTILIZER HAPPENS
The truth is the manure is probably coming one way or another, no matter how well we try to protect ourselves. God is NOT concerned about our comfort nearly as much as He is concerned about our spiritual calling. His main objective for Christ-followers is to help us find and live out our life's purpose. He knows that we will not find completely fulfillment until we do.

My advice to you - rather than spend a ton of time and energy worrying about protecting yourself from adversity, spend your energy on counting your blessings. Focus on what you DO have. Thank God for providing it and thank Him for whatever is to come. Tell Him how much you trust Him that whatever manure comes your way - you believe it will ultimately fertilize your spiritual garden into something spectacular.

Teach your children to trust God - they will be watching how you handle this. So will your friends and your family. Show those around you what it means to trust God with all your heart, your mind, your soul, and strength.

I can honestly testify to this. I've been on both sides; fed and hungry, successful by the world's standards and living out God's dream by His standards, worried and hope-filled. I will tell you, I'd rather be hungry, cold, and totally uncomfortable yet living out God's plan for me than living a life filled with the all comforts America has to offer and not. Yeah - it's that good.

"I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with Him. I no longer count on my own goodness or my ability to obey God’s law, but I trust Christ to save me. For God’s way of making us right with Himself depends on faith." Philippians 3: 7-9 NLT